Enjoying the "bumps"

  There are many bumps along the motherhood road and at the time seem stressful and frustrating but looking back you miss them. For example when you have a newborn there are so many dirty diapers. Leaking diapers, going on you while you are changing them, and the smell lol. But I have found that while changing her I bond with her more than any other time. I talk to her while I'm changing her and if you notice from alot of the first few months of pictures most of the smile are from the changing table. Because I'm right in front of her face and she's focused on me and what I'm doing. When she is potty trained and doesn't need to lay on that changing table and stare at me and talk to me while I'm changing her I will be said.
    Also, night feedings. When you first bring them home you will be SO TIRED. And you aren't that happy about having to get up every hour or two to feed and change them. You beg and pray for them to start sleeping through the night. When they do it's very nice to be able to sleep. You won't sleep through the night for awhile because your um...body, will have to learn that there is not a baby to feed in the middle of the night and you will also probably be a little nervous and wake up just to check. But I am not gonna lie. SLEEP IS WONDERFUL. Ava has been a pretty good baby. At the beginning was very fussy and colicky but I have pretty much put her in her crib in her room from day one. Didn't start the sleeping in the bed and she didn't really like her bassinet. Which has worked out great. She has been sleeping mostly through the night for awhile now-once in a while wakes up crying and needs her paci but mostly sleeps about 8-9 hours. She also take normal naps now during the day. So all this sounds great right? It is great. Kindof. But as stupid as this sounds, I miss getting to get up all night and hold her and breastfeed her. I used to have to rock her and sing to her alot to get her to sleep. It was a long process. Now she just wants to be laid down in her crib when it's time for bed or a nap. She doesn't want me to rock her or sing to her. I don't feel as needed. She doesn't need me to feed her at night or comfort her to sleep. 
    When she gets older she will have many such milestones where she will no longer need me. When she can dress herself, go to the bathroom by herself, feed herself,  go to school, take a shower by herself, have her own friends and boyfriends to talk to instead of me, and one day leave and get married. Before you are a mom you always think well I have til they are a teenager til they won't need me anymore. It starts from the beginning. Ava is only 5 months old and there are many things she needed me for at first that already change. She doesn't want to be held so much anymore, she wants to sit and play. A part of me is so happy that she is becoming her own person and can do things on her own, it makes me proud. But it is also hard because I don't feel as needed and it's a constant reminder that someday she will  be her own independent person. 
    I know this frase seems overused to new moms or people that are pregnant, but it's so true. ENJOY EVERY MINUTE. It will pass you by. Even if it seems like they are so needy and you just wish they would be able to do more on their own, you will miss it. They won't need you forever so when you are getting up in the middle of the night to feed or putting them on the changing table for what seems like the 100th time in one day, soak it all in.

Breast is best

Breast is best, breast is best, breast is best. That's all you hear. And yes I do agree that breastmilk is the best if you can breastfeed and although it is not easy and painful for awhile the bonding and the feeling of feeding your child the way God intended is amazing. I do not look down on people who have tried breastfeeding and switched to formula although I have met quite a few judgemental people that act like you are a bad mother if you use formula. It is very hard and painful for some people and doesn't get alot easier even as the months go by. That is how it has been for me. And I have almost given it up so many times but the few times I have given her bottles when I have been sick or something I missed breastfeeding her. I can't explain it but although it has been very frustrating and I wish it could be super easy like other people have told me, it's something that I can't give up.
   But the thing that I have been thinking about lately that really frustrates me is the fact that although they push people to breastfeed in alot of ways it is easier to formula feed. From the first time I breastfed Ava it was difficult. She wasn't latching on or eating so the nurses had to help me and the put a ilttle tube of formula in the side of her mouth while I was feeding her so she would learn to eat but still get sustenance since she wasn't getting much breastmilk out. It was very time consuming and although I had a few very patient nurses some just said to give her formula it would be easiest. They give you free formula at the hospital and the peds office and you get plenty of great coupons in the mail. And if you go to the health dept. you can get tickets for all the formula you want for free.then all you have to get is bottles which arent very much and anyone can feed the baby. If you are breastfeeding you not only have to deal with all the pain and discomfort but you have to do all the feeding and cant have a break unless you want to pump which isnt fun and you are going to pay at least 60$ for one. You have to buy bottles for that too and also breastpads and a nursing bra which by the way most stores dont have and walmart only has 2 kinds. They are very uncomfortable. You will definitely need cream because they get cracked and probably a shield so you aern't in horrible pain when they are learning. You will also probably get thrush so you will need prescriptions for that too.They do offer some classes that help with breastfeeding but most at cost. La Leche league isn't free either.
   I love breastfeeding Ava but it frustrates me how it is pushed but you don't see the health dept. handing out nipple cream and nursing pads they are just giving you all the free formula you can get. That is why I think its wrong to judge mothers that choose to do formula because it is very difficult to breastfeed for some people and it's not as simple as just "pulling it out" as some people make it sound. It is one of the many loving sacrifices to your baby